Mood Rings
by FantasticallyTragical
Summary: Guys and Girls will never understand each other. It's a fact of life. The men of Fairy Tail are often times not to smart. They debate trying to understand their women, and Bixlow gets a brilliant(in his opinion) idea. Oneshot. Fairy Tail guys broships.


**Mood Rings**

 **A/N: This is a song fic of the song** _ **Mood Rings**_ **by Relient K. I was listening to my iPod on shuffle and this song came on. I realized how well it applies to the women of Fairy Tail and nearly burst into laughter in the middle of our (silent) car ride to school. I don't own Fairy Tail nor the song** _ **Mood Rings**_

 _We all know the girls that I am talking about_

 _Well they are time bombs and they are ticking_

 _And the only question's when they'll blow up._

 _And they'll blow up we know that without a doubt_

 _Cuz they're those girls, yeah, you know those girls, that let their emotions get the best of them._

The men of Fairy Tail were in a pickle. They weren't sure why, but every single one of the girls were very pissed with them. It was as if the girls had found a fault with their men (some faults easier found than others) and decided to punish them for it. Few of the guys had been spared.

Natsu hand been Lucy-kicked halfway across Magnolia, Gray had been nearly drowned, Gajeel had been beaten almost to death by several large books, Bixlow had been attacked by several large wild animals, Elfman had been turned to stone, then back to normal, then to stone, then back to normal and kicked in to river, Laxus had been plain old beaten up, and no one was really sure WHAT Laki had done to Freed, but he looked to be in pain. The seven guys ran for their lives, taking refuge in an old, somewhat run-down bar at the edge of the city. They were soon joined by Bacchus, Jellal and Loke.

 _She's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way."_

Bixlow gawked at the newcomers. The were in bad shape: Bacchus appeared to be covered in whiskey, Jellal had two black eyes and Loke was covered in fuzz.

"What happened?!"

Bacchus ordered a pint of beer and sat down next to him at the bar. "Cana tried to drown me in whiskey." He replied in a weak voice. "I'll never be able to look at alcohol the same way agin." He turned an aggrieved look on the others. "MY drinking experience has been completely ruined!"

 _And it just kills me how they get away with murder._

 _They'll anger you then bat their eyes_

 _Those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize_

"I was almost smothered by a large cloud of wool." Loke volunteered. He shivered. "Aries is so scary."

"No, she's not." Natsu argued. Loke got right in the Fire Dragon Slayer's face.

"Yes, she IS, Natsu." He slowly backed away. "So scary, Scarier than Lucy."

Natsu gulped nervously.

"Anyway," Bacchus contined, acting as if nothing had happened. "I'm seriously reconsidering my decision to date Fairy Tail women. I nearly DIE-"

He was cut off as Jellal clamped his hand over the Quatro Cerberus mage's mouth.

"Don't say it." The blunette whispered. "What if they hear you?"

"Who, the girls?" Freed asked. "Because they're all back at the guild."

"That's what they WANT you to think." Jellal replied, leaning close to him. "But they're everywhere."

Gray handed the traumatized ex-fugitive a glass. "Calm down. What did Erza DO to you, dude?" Jellal just whimpered in reply.

Gajeel slammed his drink on the bar. "We need a plan, guys. So the girls stop trying to kill us."

"That is a very manly idea." Elfman agreed.

They were all silent for a moment, trying to come up with ideas.

"Oh." Bixlow say to himself. "That's genius! Guys, I have an idea!"

"What?"

 _And I've contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man_

 _Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings_

 _So we'll be tipped off, to when they're ticked off_

' _Cuz we'll know just what they're thinking_

"Let's hear it." Laxus said.

The puppeteer wiggled his eyebrow up and down. "We get all the girls to wear mood rings!"

He was met by silence. Then Gajeel spoke up. "That's a terrible idea."

The others nodded in agreement.

Bixlow looked deeply insulted. "It's not terrible. It's genius!"

"How?" Freed asked.

' _Cuz when it's black it means watch your back because you're probably_

 _The last person in the world right now she wants to see_

 _And when it's blue it means that you should call her up immediately_

 _And ask her out because she'll most likely agree_

 _And when it's green it simply means that she is really stresses_

 _And when it's clear it means she completely emotionless_

 _(And that's alright I must confess)_

"We'd be able to tell how they were feeling by the color of the rings." Bixlow sighed. "Life would be so much easier."

"Okay, sure." Gajeel challenged. "But how do you think we'll make them even _wear_ the rings?"

"We force them."

"No thanks." Natsu objected. "I choose life."

Bixlow sighed. His friends had no appreciation for genius.

 _Mood ring, oh, mood ring_

 _Oh tell me will you bring_

 _The key to unlock this mystery_

 _Of girls and their emotions_

 _Play it back in slow motion_

 _So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind._


End file.
